The Rants And Raves Podcast

Episode 9: Seeing Red - Barons and Burlesque

Dana wouldn't have to put her road rage in check if aggressive people would show some common decency.  The Red Baron flies slow and low over Dana's house and she has the theme song to accompany it.  Jessica deals with the reality of her parents listening to the podcast and reminisces about her Granny who was on Facebook until she was 92.  Dana and Jessica lose their minds over a listener's photo further driving home Jessica's disdain for "Single Communal Shared Objects." Do you know what C - fold towels are or ever heard of Kimberly Clark? Dana doesn't!  The ladies discuss adult entertainment and a particular trip to Romantix in Van Nuys. Dirty food tongs and how they come full circle with Dana's character on Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Jessica's Dad, cleanest man on the planet?  A listener's rant on blowing your nose in public leads to the equally bad practice of horking. A Nurse Practicioner corrects Jessica on the actual benefit of Kegels.  Hear a hilarious and educational voicemail from Jessica's Dad and if Dana knows anything about the Franco Prussian War.  Raves include 826 Valencia, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting under-resourced students ages six to eighteen with their creative and expository writing skills and to helping teachers inspire their students to write.   Children With Hair Loss, a nonprofit organization that provides human hair replacements to children and young adults who have lost their hair due to a range of illnesses, free of charge.

826 Valencia - https://826valencia.org/

Children With Hair Loss - https://childrenwithhairloss.us/

Episode 8: Ugly Laughs and MC's

Dana has been wondering if she is mean to Jessica (lol) and talks about the importance of being vulnerable. While Dana refers to her own laugh as "ugly," a listener wrote in to say that Jessica's laugh sounds like Muttley from Hanna-Barbera. Find out what Dana and her sisters have to paint on each day and help Jessica with her hair halo. Wannabe motorcycle clubs have taken over during Jessica's recent trip to Disneyland and Dana can't keep her hands out of the water at Silver Dollar City. Worried that she says "like" and "ya know" too much, Dana loses it when someone doesn't acknowledge that she is talking, and that someone, is her Dad. Jessica debuts her improvised single "Weirdo of the Week." Dana buys her husband what she calls an easy costume for Halloween and he is not having it for one minute. Jessica states a news headline about Dana's hometown and Dana accuses her of starting fake news. Learn what types of horror lurk at water parks. This week's Rave is Kylie's Kolors, a nail polish company who gives 100% of their proceeds to children fighting childhood cancer and the chance to name their own polish color. Our fave is "Born to Pose" by Ellen Miller.

https://kylieskolors.com/products/born-to-pose

Episode 7: Ghosts From Down Under

Did you program the voice command on your phone to have a specific accent?  Dana did!  Jessica is a big fan of Crocodile Dundee and wants to get them each an autographed picture of Paul Hogan.  What was Jessica doing on the TV Guide Channel after she was hypnotized?  With hundreds of pictures to choose from, why did a convention have to choose Dana's single most hated picture of herself to promote her appearance at VisionCon?  Jessica gives Dana some sage advice for what to do when unexpectedly ingesting a bug while hiking.  After re-living her "accident" in Dana's chair, Jessica and Dana unexpectedly compare knowledge on the famed Spelunker, Floyd Collins.  While describing her friend's experiences with a Paranormal Investigation Group, Dana is furious that Jessica knows what Mo-Cap is and they fall down the rabbit hole of a Haunted Mansion in San Diego. Raves include the Legal Aid Foundation and Girl Scout Cookies. 

Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles - https://lafla.org

 

 

Episode 6: Let’s Conversate Over Popcorn

Dana dated an opera singer in high school and Jessica wants to know if he is a eunuch.  While Dana lets it be known that she hates all incarnations of cauliflower, Jessica tries to sell her on roasting an entire head of it as a steak. The ladies share a nostalgic moment as they attempt to sing the theme song to 3-2-1 Contact and discuss the procedural drama for kids known as The Bloodhound Gang. Is "conversate" legit now a word in the dictionary?! Why do adults mispronounce things like Valentimes day? Or try to say one word in a sentence in the accent of that nationality? Dana and Jessica harken back to the fat free era of the early '90's.  The ladies debate whether store employees should greet you with enthusiasm or aggression. We are introduced to Popcorn Sutton, the man Jessica claims is the father of moonshine in Tennessee. Find out what Dana dropped on a baby while working at Applebee's. Dana explains that her dog doesn't understand commands in English so Jessica teaches her some phrases courtesy of Rick Moranis in the movie Parenthood. Raves this week include Free Museum Days and Dana's favorite inspirational quotes that she plans to turn into a "sad day photo book."

Free U.S. Museums - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/free-to-see/museums-us/

Episode 5: Hear No Evil

Dana lets passengers know her car smells like hot plastic and garbage and blames it on a dolly that was put there by her husband. Jessica refers to her beloved Middle School's Shop Class as "Industrial Arts" and Dana comes unhinged.  People who hit and run parked cars infuriate Jessica where as Dana becomes a vigilante in hunting down the perpetrators. Find out what room in Dana's house smells like tantalizing passion fruit and how she feels about talking in public on speaker phone.  Jessica has an issue on a flight and Dana blames her for not just "putting on some headphones." They then become mortal enemies once Dana lets Jessica know how she feels about the new headphones she is using to record the podcast. Though Dana claims their "lives were very different", Jessica brings her back to the reality that they both spent a portion of their childhoods riding around in vans with no seats.  Jessica asks Dana to leave her own house after she discloses what food she eats while watching zit videos. Why don't we have Family Day like the Canadians? Why the hell does Jessica say Je me souviens? Rave of the week is Days for Girls, an organization providing personal hygiene products to females in need.

www.daysforgirls.org

Episode 4: Sexy Godly Mystique

After learning that Dana took a friend to a restaurant which serves a style of food he hates, she admits her brain is like a toilet and flushes everything.  Jessica realizes hers is a steel trap as she can't forget anything. Find out how these two were connected to Conversion Vans in their youth. Jessica has had it with people describing food as sexy, and Dana confuses a food fetish with "moshing."  Alcoholic poutine leads to 9 1/2 Weeks and reminiscing about HBO's Real Sex series. Dana is over people making loud noises with items in public places and thinks the elderly are responsible. Why did Jessica suggest Dana's Dad should move to Singapore?  How does Dana react to Jessica singing the traditional litany of Midnight Mass? Discover the mystique of...SHEN YUN through a whisper, and what happens when you lose a bet with friends. Rave of the week is Hope Thru Soap, an Atlanta based organization that provides dignity and compassion through basic services to those in need.

Hope Thru Soap - https://hopethrusoap.org/

Episode 3: Weirdos & Weeds

Jessica's "I'm a Ma'am not a Man" saga continues and Biblical rains in Los Angeles cause Dana to snap at a road raging lunatic. According to Dana, "Arugula isn't salad, it's just weeds" and Jessica has to explain to her what micro greens are and how pea tendrils are used as a garnish. Dana won't eat things that are cute because she doesn't eat "baby fear meat" but ate cheese on a stick at county fairs while watching live births growing up in Missouri. Dana continues her frustration with Jessica being "a high falutin food person" after she describes porchetta as Italian Turkducken. After being accosted for leaving her purse unattended at a Trader Joe's, Jessica thinks a wallet on a chain is the answer. Jessica tries to save a child from death by scissors and Dana concludes, don't be aggressively kind or helpful. Ring Leader vs Ring Master, who will win?! Raves include a mobile clothing rack started by a child, and the important exposure a man is giving to people who are "Neuro diverse" by sharing their stories.

Sandro’s Coat Rack - https://www.facebook.com/Sandros-Coat-Rack-1841274202826690/

People in Progress - http://www.pipsoberliving.org/about/

Special Books by Special Kids - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4E98HDsPXrf5kTKIgrSmtQ

Episode 2: Animal Instincts

Dana breaks down "selfies" by naming herself a "self loathing narcissist" - the greatest oxymoron of all time. Dana and Jess both subscribe to the 'I Woke Up Like This' movement and have the pictures to prove it. Learn who Dana's personal internet troll is and why she again justifies selfies as a necessity for your kid to remember you when you're gone. Jessica tells us why anytime she wears a dress people think she is going to a funeral and D&J talk Down and Dirty vs Dolled Up. The introduction of Jessica's terrible foreign accents lead into a commonality with Dana regarding beauty treatments performed by Russians. Dana enlightens us with the origins of Macaroni and Cheese. Why did Dana bark like a seal? Why was Jessica a poser hippie in college? Fill up on the importance of gratitude and putting things in perspective. Adopt don't shop, the amazing A Purposeful Rescue will inspire you to donate or start a project of your own in your community.

A Purposeful Rescue - http://www.apurposefulrescue.org/

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do - https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont.html

Inaugural Show!!!

In their inaugural episode, Dana & Jessica introduce the concept of letting out the bad so we can all fill up with the good. Jessica is called "Sir" on the phone everyday while Dana has the sweet voice of an angel that can get away with anything she says. We explore why people act like animals in shared work spaces. Fecal monsters and Horsey sauce become a bone of contention. Find out what Dana did at the Beverly Hills Hotel and Jessica's strong feelings about Jared Leto. Raves include Medical Monkeys which give patients some lasting love while donating a portion of proceeds to a health related charity of your choice.  Offbeat, honest greeting cards for every occasion by Emily McDowell when you just don't know what to say, let Emily say it for you. From bad British accents to the creation of Mother-ners, we also learn how Jessica met Charo and why Dana got a ruler for her birthday. Share your rants and raves with them via social media and their website.

Medical Monkeys - https://medicalmonkeys.com/

Emily McDowell - https://emilymcdowell.com/